Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
