That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
