He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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