I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Just cropdusted the office
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
