please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
