Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
My vagina just recognized that song.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
