i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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