Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
50% drunk capacity currently
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
