but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
