i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
