Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Randomize
