I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
