and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
