Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
