I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
