Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
