So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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