remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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