yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Randomize
