I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
