I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
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