Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i just google imaged poop.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
