Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
