you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
