things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
