oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
