Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
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