My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Randomize
