Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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