Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
