I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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