apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
