i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
