We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Randomize
