haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
handjob tips. give me some.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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