this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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