you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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