direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Dicks are not precious.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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