I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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