All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
