I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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