omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
two words...techno handjob
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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