a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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