ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
