Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
