I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Randomize
