So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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