Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Less talking, more tequila
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
