Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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