Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
