We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
