You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
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