road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
